The best definitions of networking include the words "deliberate," "intentional," or "purposeful." Why is that? It's because networking isn't something that just happens to you if you show up at an event or create a profile on LinkedIn. You have to  lean in; you have to engage. What does engaging look like? Here are some central themes: 

1) Be curious. Remember the acronym WAIT - why am I talking? After a pleasant greeting, allow silence. Ask a question or two to get things started, showing friendliness, curiosity and enthusiasm. This may go against some of what you've learned about the "elevator pitch" - which isn't a bad thing necessarily, but I believe that you need to know who your audience is before you pitch anything. 

2) Look for commonalities. Continuing with the theme of listening, tune in to anything that you and your conversation partner have in common. Ask questions. Draw parallels. 

3) Tell stories. The human brain is wired for story. "Once upon a time..." is a memorable lead-in, but it actually goes back eons in human history, to 'round the campfire time. The more you connect with people at a human level, the more likely it is that you'll find a reason to re-connect. And the more you reconnect, the more you begin to develop relationships. 

In my work with Contacts Count, an early definition was: "the deliberate process of exchanging information, resources support and access in such a  way as to create mutually beneficial relationships for personal and professional success." A later definition was "the deliberate and discretionary process of creating, cultivating, and capitalizing on trust-based, mutually beneficial relationships for individual and organizational success." 

In both definitions, "deliberate" is the operative word.